7 INTIMACY

    “THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN - INTIMACY”                          Pentecost 7th
     Psalm 143; 2 Cor. 12:7-10                                   July 10, 1994
                 Mark 6:1-6

In the movie “The Magnificent Seven”, one of the seven is not a hired gun, a killer;  he just thought he was and for a while tried to be who he was not.  In fact, he tagged along with the others, not because they wanted him but because he wanted to be one of them.  In the end his true nature comes out and he stays behind in the village, to marry the beautiful daughter of one of the village leaders.  He was a lover not a fighter...it just took him a while to figure it out.  He was in the blessing business, even if the others were not.

Our last word has always been in the blessing business, for intimacy has to do with prayer, and even though the word intimate is not found in the Bible, the Bible is full of intimacy and prayer has much to do with intimacy.

I thought I knew what prayer was when I entered the Seminary...for had we not prayed at meal time and had I not asked God to help me catch fish? (If not the most, at least the biggest!)  And had I not gone to church and prayed, as well as said my bed time prayers?  And did I not have the notion that prayer was a way to get from God what otherwise might not happen?

I thought I knew what prayer was when I left the Seminary...for had I not written a paper on Jesus Prayer life analyzing all the times Jesus prayed and what He said about prayer?  And did we not pray there too, in chapel, before classes and at various other times, including the quiet of our own devotional life?  I remember a classic prayer by Dr. Iverson following chapel and the long walk back up the hill.  It was a warm spring day and as Dr. Iverson began class he prayed, panting because he was old and out of breath:
“Lord, I thank you for this find spring day, which has finally come!”  That’s all I remember of the prayer as we laughed quietly; and yet, is there not an intimacy in this prayer which says more about prayer then I knew at the time.
I thought I knew what prayer was after 5 years of experience and I stood with Mrs. Borman at EAFB hospital; her husband stricken with galloping pneumonia and in the course of those long hours together that night she said, “Pray for him!”  And I said “we are!”  And we spent the night there, in those intimate hours, praying with sighs where are too deep for words.

2
I thought I knew what prayer was, but I only had a hint of it’s meaning and a glimpse of its potential.  Now I must confess that it is not what I thought it to be.  It is much more then I thought it to be, and much better then I thought it to be for prayer is intimacy with God!

This is what got Jesus in trouble and probably why Jesus did most of his praying alone; as we read in Mark 1:35:  “In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed.”  This is why “they took offense at him”, as we are told in our Gospel for today.  He wanted to be more intimate with God and with those God loved then they did.  They prayed, but their prayers created a distance between themselves and others, not a closeness; and this distance extended even to God - they just didn’t realize it.  For Jesus prayer was much more then a religious duty or ritual; it was what made him who he was and kept him in touch with the source of love which enabled him to be full of grace and astonish those who heard him teach as well as be a friend of sinners, a man of grace.

It also is what got him in trouble, for as Eugene Peterson, a Presbyterian pastor of some 20 years who now teaches in a seminary somewhere has said,
“This world is no friend to grace.  Seeking for intimacy at any level -with God or with persons - is not a venture that gets the support of many people.  Intimacy is not good for business.  It is inefficient, it lacks ‘glamour.’  If love of God can be reduced to a ritualized hour of worship, if love of another can be reduced to an act of sexual intercourse, then routines are simple and the world can be run efficiently.  But if we will not settle for the reduction of love to lust and of faith to ritual, and run through the streets asking for more, we will most certainly disturb the peace and be told to behave ourselves and go back to the homes and churches where we belong...Intimacy is no easy achievement.  There is pain- longing, disappointment, and hurt.  But if the costs are considerable, the rewards are magnificent, for in relationship with another and with the God who loves us we complete the humanity for which we were created.  We stutter and stumble, wander and digress, delay and procrastinate; but we do learn to love even as we are loved, steadily and eternally, in Jesus Christ.”   (Five Smooth Stones, p. 49)

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In the same book, Eugene Peterson tells the story of a woman coming to him for counseling.  She had been recommended by a friend. Troubled for years, she had sought much counseling and was not much better off.  So why not try a pastor; it can’t hurt.  The consultation had been arranged on the telephone so when she walked into his study it was their first meeting.  Her opening statement was, “Well, I guess you want to know all about my sex life - that’s what they always want to know.”  He answered, “If that is what you want to talk about I’ll listen.  What I would really be interested in finding out about, though, is your prayer life.” She didn’t think he was serious, but he was.  And in the course of their time together she learned about the intimate handling of life, including prayer.

Intimacy and prayer go together - for all relationships between other persons involve us in some level of intimacy, which we call sexuality in our human relations.  And all relationships with God, when there is any sense of closeness at all - as with the prayer of the Psalmist for today - any degree of intimacy at all, involves us in prayer.  Therefore,  as Peterson says, ”Because of the common origin of our creation and redemption, an examination of (intimacy) leads to an examination of our prayer life and vice versa.”  p.29

To be intimate is to pray; to pray is to be intimate.
It is to be open with God...not just asking for what we want but telling God what we feel.  Is this not the deeper, more precious communication we cherish in our human relationships?  If a child talked to us only when he or she wants something from us, it would be empty and cold indeed.  But to have a child climb on our lap and tell what is on their heart; to hear their soul speak and to hold them when they are afraid or sad or lonely as well as to hear them say “I love you.” - this is food for the soul indeed.  This is intimacy!

This is also how prayer is to be...not just asking God for something but pouring out one’s heart to God, in joy and sorrow, in good times and bad, with words and also with that which is too deep for words,...”with sighs too deep for words.” as Paul says in Rom. 8:26 “For we do not always know how to pray as we ought”...and then it is that we best be silent and pray without words.


4
For prayer is more then words.  It is words and it is more then words.  The deepest prayer is beyond words, just as the deepest intimacy is found in the silent moments of our lives, when soul speaks to soul.  To be intimate at any level at all, requires that I be silent;  “Be still and know that I am God” the Psalmist wisely says; be still and listen for the still small voice which can only be heard when I stop talking.  Prayer, like intimacy is much more then talking; much deeper then chattering away, “always over-talking, and so always under-listening.” (Arthur John Gossip. MPB, p. 299)  Prayer is taking time out of our busy lives to go off to a quiet place and there be quiet...listen...wait for that which God is trying to say to us, but can’t get through because we are too busy and it is too noisy.  This is what Jesus did often.  In fact, most of his prayers are un-recorded; perhaps because they were a lot of listening and little talking.  We seem to have turned that around and made prayer more talking then listening; and the price we pay for that inversion is intimacy.  It’s hard to be intimate with someone who is always talking, always busy, always thinking ahead and planning the next more.  Intimacy is nurtured in silence, both with each other and with God.  Prayer is being with God in silence, listening for the still small voice which whispers a word of love into our hearts.

As such, prayer is meditation, something we still have difficulty with in our fast paced western world.  It is taking time to be intimate enough with God to listen for the still small voice; it is slowing down the pace of life and taking time to get in touch with God’s will for my life.  It is finding moments and creating moments in our days wherein we can be touched with the love of God and have our cups filled to over flowing.  How ever we do it, be it a part of our exercise as we walk or swim or ride a bike, or be it a part of a disciplined exercise whereby we create a time and a place to be still and be with God, it is vital to the intimacy of our lives with each other and with our God.  For there can be no intimacy when there is no time to be quiet; and it is perhaps true, that the greatest hinderance to intimacy in our lives is the pace at which we live, and the noise we have in our lives.  And the tragedy is, we end up fearing intimacy and fearing each other.  As Mother Teresa has said, “...to be able to pray we need silence, silence of the heart.  The soul needs time to go away and pray, to use the mouth...to use the eyes...to use the whole body.  And if we don’t have that silence, then we don’t know how to pray.”  (Words To Love By, p.44)


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We are currently inundated with stories and information regarding the abuse of intimacy, since O.J. Simson and the tragic deaths of his wife Nicoole and her friend Ronald Brown.  And it is tragic when intimacy is abused, be it wife-abuse, child-abuse, parent-abuse or even husband-abuse; indeed, it is tragic when people are abused, even in the name of God...and there is plenty of that going on too, by those who would use God’s love to dominate and control someone else’s life.  Yet at the same time, I am saddened by the article in our paper this past week that the National Education Association now feels compelled to advice teachers to “Teach - don’t touch.”, because of the fear of being charged with sexual abuse.  “It hurts to say that,” said Keith Geiger, President of NEA, because often “what a kid most needs is a hug from a teacher because they surely don’t get it for anybody else.”

What we all need, more then we often admit, is a hug...a hug from each other and a hug from God.  And that’s what prayer is meant to be...hugging time!  And that’s what keeps us going even when times are tough!  For it is life giving!

A true story is told of a group of Jews who were walking over a mountain, fleeing Nazi Germany. They carried with them the sick and the old and the children.  A lot of old people fell by the wayside and said, “I’m a burden; go on without me.”  They were told, “The mothers need respite, so instead of just sitting there and dying, would you take the babies and walk as far as you can.”  Once the old people got the babies close to their bosom and started walking, they all made it over the mountain.  They had reason to live; intimacy touched their lives and revived their souls.

Prayer is intimacy with God.   A time when we can be open and tell the whole truth and know that we are being known and we don’t have to hide anything, nor be afraid of being abused by God’s love and know that God’s grace is sufficient for all our needs!  A time when God somehow carries us, as the poem “Footsteps in the Sand” reminds us, and seeks to rejuvenate us with that love which never ends and the dazzling grace which always is...always is sufficient for all our needs.


6
The purpose of prayer you see, is not to give God a list of assignments.  The purpose of prayer is to change us...change us and make us more intimate with ourselves, God and others.  And that means we will become more vulnerable and risk being hurt as we seek to help.  That means we will become more responsive, and risk being used as we seek to serve.  That means we will become more accepting of what is and risk having to abandon what is not, even if our prejudices want to believe it is.  That means we will be faced with having to choose, and risk standing with those who will other wise stand alone.  All because we dare pray.

For prayer, as Henri Nouwen has said, “is far from sweet and easy.  Being the expression of our greatest love, it does not keep pain away from us.  Instead, it makes us suffer more since our love for God is a love for a suffering God and our entering into God’s intimacy is an entering into the intimacy where all of human suffering is embraced in divine compassion.  To the degree that our prayer has become the prayer of our heart we will love more and suffer more, we will see more light and more darkness, more grace and more sin, more of God and more of humanity.  To the degree that we have descended into our heart and reached out to God from there, solitude can speak to solitude, deep to deep and heart to heart.  It is there where love and pain are found together.”  (Reaching Out to Our God, p.150)

Take time to pray...to be intimate with God...to let God be intimate with you.
Discover the power of silence, the gifts which come in listening...in solitude, in being patient and long suffering, allowing life to flow with the spirit of Christ rather then being pre-determined by the economic forces of life. Develop the habit of prayer, not as a show of your religion but to “create a spiritual atmosphere which is most in evidence when it is not obvious.” (Hans Asmussen, MPB. p.297) And remember you are praying even when you don’t think you are praying, when you are being intimate, within your own self, with others, and thereby with God.

There is no better example of a person of prayer and what prayer can do to empower a person with Christ’s love, which is to be empowered to be intimate, then Mother Teresa.  Listen to the words which which she and all the sisters of Charity begin their day, and carry with them throughout the day:  (and I ask you...if this isn’t intimate, what is?)